Music.
I am a singer songwriter, so music comes like breathing to me. As my brain swirls and swishes with thoughts & pains, they slow down and filter my emotions when I turn them into song. I sing out my hearts aches, guitar in hand, paper blank with possibilities in front of me. I sing my soul out to God and I feel comforted yet vulnerable before Him. The strangest things are unearthed in these intimate moments. I'll share one moment with you...
It was Easter Sunday, a day marked with lots of emotion, grief and memories of losing our 1st baby, (we her named Lily after the Easter Lily) in a miscarriage. It's always a bitter sweet day. A day that is marked with the Hope of Jesus rising from the dead and declaring victory over death and sin, is also a day we get hit in the gut with memories of losing our baby to death. So being a songwriter I filter my emotions through the melodies of song.
I read a quote by Corrie Ten Boom earlier that day that stuck with me as I went to write this song: "No matter how deep the pit, God is deeper still" This thought echoed in the chambers of my heart and made me realize no matter how deep in pain and grief I am, God can reach in and pull me out. I'm never too far out of His reach and He is never in over His head. He can handle all of the hurt and pain I am in.
So here is the song. It's called Deeper Still.
Verse 1:
This grief it swallows me like
The deepest of the darkest nights
This pit that I have fallen in
Has overcome me
I reach for you to take my hand
Wondering if you can
Pull me from the depths of
This pit that I fell in
Chorus:
But you are deeper still
Yes you are deeper still
My God you're deeper still
You are deeper still
Verse 2:
This Grief that buried me alive
You've raised me with your Love and I
Know that I have purpose when
I fix my eyes on You
Bridge:
As I reach for you
I can see
That God you've never left me
In my pain
Chorus 2:
Cuz You are deeper than anything I've done
Your Mercy's deeper still
You are deeper than any pit I've dug
Your Love goes deeper still
