The Heart of the Matter

A few weeks ago I found myself in the hospital for the 5th time.

I had been feeling increasingly short of breath & had an episode of walking through our church where I was gasping for air, had painful Braxton Hicks Contractions, felt like I was going to pass out & my heart was racing like I had run a marathon. I tried to blame normal pregnancy breathlessness, but that night while I was getting my PJ's on, I found myself gasping for air, head pounding & spinning & my arms & legs felt heavy. I checked my blood pressure & it was 122/84 higher than my usual low 110/? Range. I knew something wasn't right. I woke up the next morning feeling swollen & knew I needed to call my doctor. 

I talked to the nurse, & she told me to go into the hospital to get checked out. I cried when I got off the phone & talked to my husband Brett. I just couldn't handle going to the hospital one more time. 

When I got to the ER they looked at me (and my big belly) and asked how many weeks I was and sent me up to Labor & Delivery. 

In the triage area in labor and delivery they monitored my heart beat, took my blood pressure & did an EKG. Everything looked good enough & they sent me home & told me to follow up with my doctor to get an Echocardiogram (ultrasound) on my heart that week.

 I went into my doctor and I explained to her what I was feeling and she agreed I needed to get an echocardiogram because of my history with Cardiomyopathy & congestive heart failure from preeclampsia during my last pregnancy. They also tested my hemoglobin levels in case my iron was low, but everything looked good. She also mentioned watching my blood pressure closely & testing my blood for signs of preeclampsia in the coming weeks to make sure we are ahead of any possible problems.

That very same week I got my echocardiogram & the next Monday I saw my doctor & she told me the results. They came back as Mildly Low Ejection Fraction (heart is not pumping out blood to full capacity that your body needs) in my Left Ventricle, something to be aware of and watch, but not serious yet. That the stress of pregnancy is a lot on the heart & She urged me to take it SLOW the next couple weeks. I'll probably need to see a cardiologist after pregnancy just to make sure everything is still ok. I had to do that last pregnancy too when I had Cardiomyopathy. (Swelling and some damage to the heart) She just urged me to take it very slow and to monitor my heart rate and symptoms closely. She also told me that she'll probably induce me a week early, on April 13th to make sure she isn't too big & that I don't get preeclampsia like last time.

That same week I was experiencing CRIPPLING pain in my lower back and hips. One night my sweet husband had to almost carry me to the bathroom I was in so much pain. My hip kept giving out and I almost fell a couple of times. I cried the pain was so bad! 

I called my doctors office AGAIN and the nurse urged me to see a chiropractor that works a lot with pregnant women. I called the Chiropractor James Schramm and they were able to get me in THAT DAY. I was relived to say the least. He told me my hip was tightly pinching my sciatic nerve and after that 1st adjustment I already felt LOADS better! I actually slept through the night which was a miracle in itself. 

I've also had increasing Braxton Hicks Contractions that have been more intense and painful. One night I had 20+ contractions in 5-7 minute waves for 2 hours, that I swore I was going to have to go to the hospital. I drank 2 cans of carbonated water (my safe beverage) and laid on my left side and they started spacing out and calming down, luckily! I called my doctor and talked to the nurse again (they know me so well by now!! Haha!) and told her what had happened and she told me "if you are having more than 5 contractions an hour that don't go away when you drink and lay down, that you could be in labor." I told her I drank fluids and laid down and they went away & she told me to be careful and try to stay more hydrated. I told her it has been a struggle staying hydrated (b/c of nausea) but I've been pushing through it! Those contraction episodes have happened a couple of times, so I know my body is getting ready for the "big event", which is exciting, BUT I've got to keep her in there a little longer :)

It feels like there is a new mountain to climb every week (sometimes 2 or 3) but I know once I see that sweet baby girls face I will look back on everything and say "it was all worth it"!

Her "story" is certainly not boring one!

Pregnancy Joy's, conquering Fears & Struggles

My Hyperemesis Gravidarum symptoms have calmed down a bit, even though 1st thing in the morning I'm still gagging and throwing up most of the time & right before bed nausea keeps me awake!! BUT I am SO far from where I was. I'm able to do small things like move around, make food, take a shower, do tasks around the house, & more when a month or so ago I wouldn't be able to do any of those things without it ending in a vomiting fit. I'm still having trouble drinking straight water (makes me super nauseated!) so I've been drinking Carbonated waters, koolaide & chomping on ice like nobody's business! Haha!! Dehydration still creeps up on me because I just have trouble drinking a lot and even landed in the hospital after a fainting spell & heart palpitations from dehydration. It's a tricky balancing act, but at least I'm not vomiting a ton too! 

Even though I'm feeling better as far as HG goes, I have to remind myself to take it easy. After soooo long of not being able to do literally anything, I find myself trying to make up for so much lost time. I feel bad for all the pressure that was on my husband when I was down and out and have made sure to stay on top of house work, but realize my limitations also. A funny realization I've come to is I can't "fit" into our laundry room anymore! Haha! Like literally can't fit! It makes me laugh and feel grateful for my growing belly :) 

My nesting instinct is kicking into high gear too. Like I said after so long of being so sick, my motivation to get things done to get ready for Story is high!! We are getting her nursery in order, collecting diapers, organizing, getting rid of things and making space in our hearts & home for our new arrival. I am sooo excited!

I also have been trying to face some fears moving into the final days of pregnancy. I only have like 13 weeks left!!! Trying not to compare this pregnancy to my last.. 

For instance, last week I had some swelling in my feet and hands and immediately my mind jumped to last pregnancy when I had undiagnosed preeclampsia that turned almost deadly after I delivered my son, causing congestive heart failure and pulmonary failure from all the fluid around my heart and lungs. I panicked because one of my feet was completely numb on top, but then realized I needed to drink more fluids to get the excess fluid out of my system. And sure enough, the swelling went down within two days after drinking more. Like I said drinking liquids is still a struggle, but I've been trying to press through!

Another fear of mine that is mounting is delivery. I had such a traumatic delivery with my son Trust (everything that could go wrong did + years of recovery from the aftermath) that I wish I could just be knocked out and not have to experience any of it again. But I know Story has to come out one way or another which means staring my fear straight in the face, clinging onto the hope & joy of the end product, that sweet baby Girl I'm stir-crazy to meet!! You do crazy things for the people you love, and I love this girl more than any fear I could have. I know it's gonna be a struggle and I'm really grateful for the prayer & counseling I've been getting leading up to labor & delivery! Seriously, it'll be Jesus and Jesus strength alone that allows me to face the fears I have. But I know He is with me in this!! He's brought me this far and has given me joy and trust even in the darkest of moments. 

I talked to my doctor about my fears and she was VERY reassuring and is going to be on top of the possibility of preeclampsia and may also induce me early so that she won't be so big when I go to deliver. My son Trust was 2 weeks late and was GINORMOUS. She said she'll watch me closely the last few weeks leading up to delivery to stop any problems from happening again. So good to have a reassuring voice in this process!

On a happier note, I've been well enough to play music again. I hadn't touched my guitar in 6 months & got to play a Christmas house show with a Nashville singer/songwriter & harpist Timbre. It felt SO GOOD to be there and to play music again. I even led worship at the mom's group I'm apart of, leading worship at Fusion youth group & have 2 shows at the end of the month! It's good to be back in the saddle a bit. :)