Thursday, November 13, 2014

A week of 1sts

I'm almost 18 weeks pregnant & the effects of Hyperemesis Gravidarum are starting to wear off a bit, although a bit of nausea will probably stay with me my entire pregnancy. 


I've been having some good days full of 1sts this pregnancy! 

I went to church for the 1st time two weeks ago. I wasn't able to sing during worship because I would start gagging (which is hard for me!!), but man, it was SO good for my heart! The week I happened to come to church was the same week that the Kids ministry, Middle School & High School Ministry's were leading worship!! My husband is the Middle School Youth Pastor at our church, so I have a special place in my heart for those kids! I found myself in tears feeling so thankful to be able to be back at church + the fact our kids were leading, it was just such a sweet moment! I got TONS of hugs and smiles and it just felt good to be out in the world again. Some youth saw me in the cafe and asked if they could pray for me, I loved their prayers!! 

I went to the grocery for the 1st time this past Sunday. Me and my son Trust went to our favorite grocery store, Trader Joes! I told Trust he had two rules: To find the Turtle (the one they hide in the store & if a kid finds it they get a sucker!) and To stay with me. He followed both rules great! He was a HUGE helper and I gave him tasks to find certain foods. He also found a Turkey and we weren't sure if he was on display or if he was replacing the turtle so we took it over to where you get the sucker. We asked the Trader Joes employee and he said "yes that is who you are supposed to find! The turtle is on vacation" it was soo cute. He felt very proud of himself!


When we were finally ready to cash out, we told the cashier Tim we found the Turkey! Tim asked Trust "Are you going to be a big Brother soon?" Looking at my blossoming tummy & my pump slung over my shoulder. Trust replied "YES!" And I continued to tell him that this was my very 1st trip to the grocery store since being pregnant for 4 1/2 months and that I have been very sick and in and out of the hospital. He said "oh wow! Congrats on being up and about!" & told me he understands and has 3 kiddos of his own. In the middle of ringing up our items he waved to an employee and whispered something to him. The employee came back with a bouquet of fall flowers WITH 2 pink & white Lilies in them (we named our 1st babe that we lost on Easter Lily & I have a pink & white Lily tattoo!) and he handed them to me and said "I'm glad you're up and about and I hope you continue to get better!" I nearly burst into tears and said "Thank you! This means so much to me right now!" I just feel like every step I take, Jesus is using people to show me His GREAT love and that He SEES me in this time. 
I picked Trust up from Preschool for the 1st time ever! I had never even been to his preschool before that day because he started right when things were going down hill for me. When I peeked my head in the room he said "mommy? Mommy!!!!! I didn't know you were picking me up today! Do you want to see my cubby?!" He felt happy and proud to show me his class. It was so nice!

I bought my 1st baby purchase! A fox lovey, a diaper changing pad & some curtains! 

Me and my Son Trust went out together for a "Date" for the 1st time yesterday. Before getting SO sick me and Trust went on TONS of adventures. We would go on dates and sit in Starbucks and just talk about Legos while he'd munch on Chips & sip apple juice. But a lot has changed and it has been VERY hard on him. He would ask me "Do you still love me? Will you be sick forever? Are you going to die?" I did my best to reassure him I would only be sick for a little while and that my love would never change for him. So yesterday was a very emotional 1st for us!! 

We went to Blue Star Barbershop and Got his hair cut (the 1st time in 6 months!) which he LOVES to do. He feels very grown up and cool when he gets his hair cut at the Barbershop + the lady Stacey who cuts his hair has kids and does so well asking him questions and keeping him happy. 

After the Barbershop Trust asked if we could go to the mall and play on the play place (it was freezing that day!) so I told him absolutely even though by that time I was starting to get epically nauseated. I told him we'd have to get a snack through Starbucks before we went and he was happy! 

My sister & nieces met us at the Playplace at the mall & Trust ran over to me with the biggest smile on his face he said "mommy this is the best day ever!!" What was a seemingly normal day for us in the past had turned into "The best day ever" because of the horrible circumstances that kept us from doing happy normal things together. I almost burst into tears I felt so happy he was happy. 

I am seeing life so differently these days. We really do take for granted! Being on deaths door can do one of two things to you: 1.) make you bitter or 2.) Make you better.  I honestly feel like I am better for everything I am going through and cherish life so much more!

OH I have one more first! I felt babe move in my tummy for the first time 5 or so days ago and constantly since! I was starting to worry since I was approaching 18 weeks and hadn't felt anything, but now I feel him/her moving lots! We also have our next ultrasound in a little over a week. I am dying to know what our baby's gender is and to put a name to this sweet one! 


I am definitely discovering that I can't do as much as I want to do, but that is ok! I am SO much farther than were I was just 2 weeks ago when I couldn't even move without being super sick. I am taking every day as it comes and realizing every moment is a gift. I am so thankful this thanksgiving season and I am looking forward to learning more and more through this process! 

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