Trusting God with Baby #2

Anyone that knows me knows pregnancy is not my thing. Not because I don't love children (I LOVE KIDS SO MUCH!), but because my last 2 pregnancies did not go so well. 

My 1st pregnancy started out well and ended tragically in a miscarriage on Easter Sunday 2008. My second pregnancy with my son Trust was one of the worst and hardest experiences of my life starting with life threatening Hyperemesis Gravadium (extreme nausea and vomiting) and ending with pre eclampsia, congestive heart failure and years of recovery from digestional issues and thyroid problems. I basically ruled pregnancy out and said "it'd have to be a miracle for me to ever get pregnant again."

Well that miracle has happened! Hahaha! I laugh because that's all I can do, right?! 

I knew something was up before I took the test because my love for coffee turned to a disgust for the taste. This is a major indication for me something is wrong, amongst other symptoms. I took a pregnancy test the day before we went to our churches Middle School summer camp. It was one of the blue tests where you get a blue plus sign if you are pregnant and there was a very faint blue line making a plus symbol on the test, so I thought there was an error and went off to camp. 

At camp my stomach was sick a lot but I didn't think anything of it because camp food is just BAD. Haha! I was also supposed to start my period at camp, but nothing happened. I thought it was a stroke of good luck, but when I got home I took the other pregnancy test in the box only this time the plus was very evident. I kind of felt happy and dread mix together and asked Brett to get a digital clear blue test to check the results. And sure enough, the test read "Pregnant". 

Me and my husband Brett didn't get a wink of sleep that night.. All I could think about was the possible impending sickness that debilitated me so severely during my pregnancy with Trust, or the thought of losing this baby like my 1st pregnancy. 

I called my doctor on Friday and didn't hear anything back until Monday which made me even more nervous! The nurse had me come in that day for blood work and prescribed me Progesterone (a hormone that helps you not miscarry). I was glad they were on top of it, but I'm anxious to hear back about the blood test! 

Me and my husband Brett have had lots of discussions about baby #2 and made a "disaster prep plan" in case I get sick again. Meal plans, care needs and big priority, putting a TV in our room. Haha!! My husband is the greatest. The same night we talked about it, he hung up the big flat screen TV he had just gotten for $50 at the church and got a Roku so I can watch Netflix. :)

I made a decision to take this pregnancy one step at a time. Like my pastor says walking out faith is "left foot, right foot" and over time you'll see how far you've come but it doesn't happen overnight. So that's what I'm doing every day, hard or not, left foot right foot. Trusting God even when I can't see, leaning into His arms.

At camp we sang the song Oceans and it has never meant more to me than it does now. Especially "you call me out upon the waters, the great unknown, where feet may fail, and there I find you in the mystery, in oceans deep, my faith will stand." 

God doesn't always call us to what is easy or even what we understand, but we will find Him in it.