Yesterday, I was fighting really hard against severe nausea & vomiting, but I decided to finally surrender and call my doctor (again). I was almost in tears at the defeat, beacause I knew what they would tell me on the other end of the phone. I explained I only sipped 8oz of fluids that day and threw up most of what I drank so the nurse told me "Go strait to the ER and we will send an order for fluids and medicine. Follow up with us tomorrow and we might have to start you on the Zofran pump."
I sat up to call my husband Brett and started throwing up whatever remnants of fluid were left in my system.
We made plans for my sister and mom to hang out with our sweet 4 year old, and headed to the hospital. I held back tears in the car as we listened to the song "Come as You Are" By David Crowder. The lyrics hit home:
"Come out of sadness from wherever you’ve been, Come broken hearted let rescue begin, Come find your mercy, Oh sinner come kneel
Earth has no sorrow that Heaven can’t heal, Earth has no sorrow that Heaven can’t heal
So lay down your burdens, lay down your shame
All who are broken, lift up your face
Oh wanderer come home, You’re not too far
So lay down your hurt, lay down your heart
Earth has no sorrow that Heaven can’t heal, Earth has no sorrow that Heaven can’t heal
So lay down your burdens, lay down your shame
All who are broken, lift up your face
Oh wanderer come home, You’re not too far
So lay down your hurt, lay down your heart
Come as you are"
We got to the hospital and there was NO WAIT in the waiting room! Which is absolutely unheard of in my experience. One of my fears is throwing up in front of people so the idea of sitting in a waiting room with my big bright red chip bowl, made my anxieties rise, but I never had to experience any of that since we got right in!
All my nurses and doctors were super nice and listened to me. With my past pregnancy with Hyperemesis Gravadium, I was a lot more timid and unsure of what I was feeling, but this time around I knew what to say and what meds I do well with.
They gave me 3 bags of liquids through an IV and anti nausea meds that helped a bit, but not fully with the nausea. The doctor gave me the choice to go home and follow up with my doctor in the morning or stay and be admitted. After 5 hoursin the ER, I was ready to go home and try my luck. At my discharge they gave me an official diagnosis of Hyperemesis Gravadium.
I went straight to bed, stomach in knots, but I knew sleep was the only place I wouldn't experience the nausea, so I tried to relax and get some rest.
As I'm fighting this good fight of bringing a life into this world, I know that I am going to get some "battle scars" along the way. I wrote a song titled "Battle Scars" that talks about how we all get wounded, but that our battle scars will heal as we press into God. As they heal I'm hoping to help others going through something similar. I also think it's cool that Jesus keeps his scars from the cross. To remind US of what He did for us. There is power in scars. They remind us of what we've been through and not to forget!
Watch/Listen to "Battle Scars" here:
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